The Day I Became an Influencer

People often ask me what it's like working at Macarons Manuscripts.

The answer is simple.

Exhausting.

Maria spends all day making beautiful bookish gifts, packing orders and talking about “SEO,” which sounds suspiciously like a dragon species but apparently isn't.

Naturally, I decided it was time to help.

Not with packing.

That looked like effort.

No...

I was going to help by becoming famous.

After all, every successful business has social media.

And every successful social media account clearly needs a dragon.

📱 My Big Break

It all began when I overheard Maria watching TikTok.

People were pointing dramatically at books.

Slowly sipping coffee.

Looking thoughtfully out of rainy windows.

Holding stacks of novels while mysterious music played.

“This,” I announced, “looks incredibly easy.”

Maria didn't even look up.

“It isn't.”

That sounded exactly like something someone would say moments before witnessing greatness.

✨ Creating Content

The first step was planning.

Real influencers don't just make videos.

They have content strategy.

So I made a list.

Book pose.

Cute smile.

Thoughtful stare.

Pretend to read.

Accidentally look adorable.

Hashtags.

Lots of hashtags.

I wrote them all down.

#BookTok

#DragonTok

#CurrentlyReading

#MainCharacterEnergy

#ProfessionalBookDragon

#SponsoredByHotChocolate

#PleaseSendMarshmallows

I felt incredibly professional.

💡 The Lighting

Apparently lighting is very important.

I'd heard influencers say things like...

“Is this lighting giving fantasy?”

So every five minutes I shouted across the workshop...

“MARIA!”

“What?”

“Is this lighting giving fantasy?”

“No.”

Five minutes later...

“What about now?”

“No.”

“What if I stand next to the fairy lights?”

“No.”

“What if I look mysterious?”

“Pip...”

“What?”

“You're wearing your hoodie backwards.”

📚 The Photoshoot

After forty-three attempts, I finally settled on the perfect poses.

One sitting on a stack of books.

One pretending to read upside down.

One dramatically holding a bookmark while looking into the distance.

One sipping hot chocolate and pretending not to notice the camera.

That one took seventeen attempts because I kept drinking the hot chocolate.

🎬 It's Time To Go Viral

Everything was finally ready.

I pressed the big button.

Then I spoke in my deepest, most professional voice.

“Hello, BookTok.”

“I am Pip.”

“Today I'm going to show you five books that emotionally destroyed me.”

I nodded wisely after every sentence.

Occasionally I looked thoughtfully into the distance because influencers do that a lot.

I even remembered to whisper dramatically...

“If you know... you know.”

Honestly...

It was magnificent.

Twenty-three minutes of absolute cinematic excellence.

🐉 The Premiere

That evening I bounced into the living room.

“Maria!”

“What?”

“I've finished!”

“Finished what?”

“My first viral video.”

She smiled.

“Oh?”

“I think people are going to love it.”

She laughed.

“Let's have a look then.”

This was it.

The moment my career began.

She picked up my phone.

Pressed play.

Looked confused.

Pressed play again.

Then looked at me.

“Pip...”

“Yes?”

“Were you definitely recording?”

“Obviously.”

She turned the screen towards me.

Instead of my masterpiece...

There was a calculator.

It displayed:

8 × 7 = 56

That was all.

Apparently...

I'd spent twenty-three minutes talking passionately to the calculator app.

The camera had never been open.